i know hardly anyone even checks out xanga anymore except for afew of us, so this is essentially me blabbling...and if anyone so happens to read it..it'll just show the random thought one my mind at the moment... i guess its a little less weird than actually talking to yourself. It seems the more you need to do something the harder it becomes to actually getting yourself to actually start doing the thing,...like they say the hardest thing to do is actually starting to do something...that is the heart of procrastination. This update is soooo long overdue and very few people left actually bother to undate their xanga aside froma few bloggers who I enjuoy very much...so proprs to LISA. I should have updated long ago, but have been busy doing nothing and stalling from actually doing any actual work...which means that in a very short time i will be staying up late for days on end trying to catch up with work that should have been done a long time ago...but i guess that is life...my highly disorganized life at the very least. I just ended up cleaning my room and redesigning the floor plan and simply stuffed all of the research material into the coner of the room so that i can barely see it which makes it easier to procratinate and think about other nonsensical things to do. Today marks seven months for me and my current relationship...whcih i think makes this the longest relationship i've ever been in..not that i've been in so many. but the good thing about it is that thus far things have been working out pretty nicely....there is a mutual understanding, and i've come to accept that sometimes you have to let go in order to hold on to something...give them their space to breathe and live seperate lives...otherwise you just simply run out of things to say to one another and eventually you grow tired of each other. Seven is a lucky number for me, so seven months is a significant number. Even though i've been in relationships before, for the first time i feel this one is worth fighting and hurting for. I know it will sound corny, but I've never used the word "love" [in the romantic sense of the word] with anyone before....for the simple fear that I would end up hurt..but for the first time in my life โจ้ made me feel as if its okay to love...true i can never expect the same out of โจ้ but that doesn't matter too..because the time is now, and it doesn't matter because ตฤปรักโจ้..... i like the sound of that. Missing Constantly I am aware that something is missing,
Something empty near my heart when it'sbeating.
Then I realize that my heart is no longer with me,
Stolen or given, it makes, no longer, a difference to me.
For my heart is in your hands for you to hold,
In your hands, this once dull heart, shines like the purest gold.
Reunited, at long lat my love awaits,
Three minutes like three thousand years I wait,
To lay in your arms through the night,
Your arms around me tender and tight.
Then I realize that nothing is no longer missing,
For my heart in your arms is i n love and beaming. T.K Novermber 1, 2007 | 
